I love stream of consciousness. Here is a quick unedited piece.
I'm tired. I have so much to do, but I am tired. Do I get up and go to bed? No, I sit and stare and think of all the things I am too tired to do.
Life is tired. It goes around the same track again and a gain, too tired to throw more than a curve ball. Too tired to keep up the play that everything is okay. It all falls apart because everyone is too tired to do more. Care? Effort? I know these concepts. They have been talked about since childhood. We should care about our neighbors. We should put forth our best effort. Why? No one else does. Everyone is tired.
Everyone is tired of giving and not receiving. Everyone is tired of the amount they put forth and see it being just a drop in the bucket. It's tiring. Nothing changes no matter how much we try. How much effort we give is not rewarded by our circumstances or our place in the world. It just makes you more tired.
Where are the men and women who are tireless? Where did they come from? How did they learn to stand and stand and never fall down? Did they learn something new? Where can I learn to be like that? Can everyone live without being tired?
Can we some day stand and say that we are tired of being lied to, tired of watching things that rot our brain and make us tired? Tired of not caring for each other. Tired of not putting effort into anything. Can we? One day, can we? Can everyone, for just one hour of one day, be awake?
I would like to see that one day. But for now, I have to get up and get something done.